Aaron (Survivor Stories #1)

Aaron (Survivor Stories #1) I Can T Describe What It S Like To Want To Scream Every Minute Of Every Day Two Years After A Terrifying Night Of Pain Destroyed His Normal Teenage Existence, Aaron Downing Still Clings To The Hope That One Day, He Will Be A Fully Functional Human Being But His Life Remains A Constant String Of Nightmares, Flashbacks, And Fear When, In His Very First Semester Of College, He S Assigned Spencer Thomas As A Partner For His Programming Project, Aaron Decides That Maybe Normal Is Overrated If He Could Just Learn To Control His Fear, That Could Be Enough For Him To Find His Footing Again With His Parents Talk Of Institutionalizing Him Of Sacrificing Him For The Sake Of His Brothers Stability Aaron Becomes Desperate To Find A Way To Cope With His Psychological Damage Or Even Fake Normalcy Can His New Shrink Control His Own Demons Long Enough To Treat Aaron, Or Will He Only Deepen The Damage Desperate To Understand His Attraction For Spencer, Aaron Holds On To His Sanity With Both Hands As It Threatens To Spin Out Of Control

An award winning, best selling novelist of over a dozen books, J P Barnaby is a proud member of the GLBT community both online and in her small town on the outskirts of Chicago A member of Mensa, she is often described as brilliant but troubled, sweet but introverted and talented but deviant She spends her days writing software and her nights writing erotica which is, of course, far inter

➠ [Epub] ➚ Aaron (Survivor Stories #1)  By J.P. Barnaby ➪ – Uc0.info
  • Paperback
  • 238 pages
  • Aaron (Survivor Stories #1)
  • J.P. Barnaby
  • English
  • 06 June 2017
  • 9781623800185

10 thoughts on “Aaron (Survivor Stories #1)

  1. says:

    This is one of the most emotional and hearbreakingly beautiful books I have had the pleasure to read in a long time Outstanding I am not sure I can even begin to explain or even do justice to the words of Ms J P Baranby This book touched my heart in so many ways Being in the mind of Aaron, his soul so utterly and completely shattered was devastating but the heartwarming journey for his chance at normal and the two families involved, who themselves were stretched to breaking point was poignant in it delivery.Aaron, a beautiful boy damaged and broken, scarred both inside and out, by the most heinous of crimes from which he can never escape Night after night he is plagued by debilitating nightmares, taking him back to the garage where he and his best friend Juliette were attacked He can see the stained concrete floor, the water damaged ceiling it s dirty and he can smell the oil, there is blood and always, Juliette s eyes pleading But he is helpless.awakes full of fear and nausea, trembling, his very soul tortured He survived.and now he can t live with that guilt and wishes that he too had died that night with his friend.Aaron now simply exists, the sixteen year old boy with everything to live for died on that garage floor and what is left is an empty vessel, unable to function on his own The many psychologists who were unable to help him, simply administer drugs for his suffocating depression and panic attacks, which leave him incapacitated and completely impassive, and with flashbacks of the fateful night triggered by any touch to his body, he is left without even the comfort of his mothers arms.Spencer Thomas is deaf, born three months premature he is left with hearing impairment, and having been mainstream schooled he is also angry at the world and those who could not see past his stilted speech and deafness and saw him only as a retard Ostracised by his peers and no friends for company, even his Father, a leading Trauma Specialist, who he was once so very close to has now slipped into a depression, finding his comfort in a bottle Spencer is alone He may be deaf, but he is like any other normal teenage boy, same wants and needs..in other words, he thinks with his dick His solution, which was very enlightening for me wasTwitter Sex Over the internet, where his deafness was not an obstacle he found willing partners He just wants to be touched Spencer is drawn to Aaron so sad and frightened, he feels compassion, wanting only to help him So when the two are paired together as project partners, which is the perfect solution to what could have been a very harrowing and humiliating experience for both, through Twitter, IM and email they slowly come to trust one another and we are taken on a journey fraught with emotion, good and bad, compelled by evocative prose, moving dialog and characters so well developed you become immersed in their lives, willing them to make the right decisions, hoping with all your heart that the pain and hurt in their lives, if not forgotten, will at least be behind them and truly find solace in their friendship and love in their blooming romance.People who know me, will be aware of how much I love my smutbut most of all I love books that make me feel a book that has me so engrossed and invested in the characters that I am part of their lives This is an erotic romance, but not between our two MC s, they are merely fledglings, taking baby steps in an emotionally complicated relationship, that is so beautiful in its delivery, I found myself in tears through the most part, my heart both assaulted and warmed by the numerous emotions this book evoked There is to the tale of Aaron and Spencer and I am hoping the extremely talented J P Barnaby will not be making me wait too long to read it.Do I recommend this bookHELL YES Just read it Sinfully Sexy Book Reviews

  2. says:

    Aaron the book and the character both broke my heart So heart wrenching Why do I keep doing this to myself I cannot stop reading books full of angst I can t imagine where Aaron finds the strength to get up every day and deal with his life after all that has happened to him This book is so realistic It describes perfectly the internal war that s happening inside Aaron All his fears and struggles I felt feel so sorry for him I know this is fiction, but the things described in this book are things that have a great possibility to happen in real life and I feel so angry for that No person should be exposed to that Why Why did they have to break Aaron And Spencer I adored him He reaches to Aaron where nobody before him succeeded and returns colors into the miserable life that Aaron s been living for the past 2 years.There were many parts in the book that made me cry The writing flows along and it keeps your interest.It wasn t a cliffy, but there are a lot of things not yet resolved The relationship is still new and fragile and both the MCs have to come to terms with their problems This is why I m skipping the 2nd book and jumping directly to the 3rd one, where Aaron and Spenser s story continues.

  3. says:

    This book was one of the most hard hitting emotionally I ve read in a while, but sometimes it s okay to stay up late, crying over your kindle and wondering if there is any junk food in the house, right Two years after being brutally attacked and left for dead, Aaron is a psychological wreck He can barely function He doesn t interact with his own family, and has traumatic panic attacks if he s touched Before the attack view spoiler which included the murder of his best friend hide spoiler

  4. says:

    This book doesn t work for me, in fact it got me upset and almost angry for all the wrong reasons The authors speciality is very obviously in computer technology and not counselling, but if choosing such an emotive subject as a characters rape to be central in a work of fiction, I feel it should be thought out carefully and treated respectfully rather than for shock value.At one point there is a whole page of what I assume is coding, I don t expect that in a work of fiction, I don t know coding so it s a wasted page I also don t twitter so have no interest in it s protocols I m not a wargame fan, the characters names bare no significance to me so mere mention of one as a source of disagreement leaves me confused.The top of his field psychologist is too unprofessional for words There s a few therapy concepts thrown in but warped and the situations are terrible.I found the book has a habit of guiding the reader in what to think, then telling the reader what conclusions they should be drawing This should be show not tell When characters behaviour frequently drew me to one impression, and the narrative instructed me to think otherwise it made me feel uncomfortable view spoiler The tutor We re told he s a nice thoughtful man Before Aaron goes to college his mother speaks to the dean.Day one, class one Tutor says group work is essential to the course, Aaron s mother phones the college but he wont budge.Class two tutor asks a scarred traumatised boy to stand up and be identified, for his own good.To me that means he s cruel and directly ignoring both his employer and a parents concerns That is not a nice man.The therapist No longer practising, an alcoholic whose also Aaron s only friend s father I started calling him Dr Alcho Pops Within an hour of meeting informally, he s giving a session with his son present, his first concern is he ll be writing a paper on Aaron If he was taking over therapy medication officially the insurance company would be aware of it and therefore Aaron s parents He s read about cases like these Confidentiality after a session he IM s his son to out Aaron, before Aaron has even left the house He pushes Aaron to talk about the rape so he can make points on a white board, at a time Aaron s parents are expected they walk in.There s a lot issues It felt like a case of grooming Aaron is convinced Dr Alcho Pops is the only person who ll help him, and is clearly being turned against his parents.Aaron mentions his attack to his mother for the first time in two years and she yawns and goes to bed It s na ve to think the police wouldn t have been asking all kinds of painful questions to make a case, Aaron would have had to talk Characters facts just don t add up Spencer is a cowered deaf boy one minute and minor porn star the next An injunction is served while Aaron is in the house It s too easy to take this from review to rant At the end of the day, the character is a severely traumatised young man whose been brutally raped The cover model chosen to portray him is apparently a porn star All said, that does kind of show where the books priorities lie hide spoiler

  5. says:

    The author has no idea what being deaf is Yes, I m going to break the general mold and talk about this Why It s an issue that hits too close to home You can skip it if you want view spoiler Spencer is deaf There are degrees but he s at the top of it because he hears nothing Zero And that s some interesting topic to develop in a book and in a romance He s young It seems stupid to say that, but not when we join the word young with the term the father is a psychologist , or a shrink If it s the latter, that s even worse Why Well, it seems the father has an education, and a job or he used to that makes money He s not that far from being aware that, at this time, there is some solution to deafness It s called cochlear implants.Why the hell didn t the father take Spencer to a doctor I m sure that if Spencer lacks a leg, he would have a prothesis But if he doesn t have an inner ear, he doesn t get a prosthetic one Isn t it ridiculous It is for me He is a shrink, for God s sake He should know what the impact of being deaf in a hearing world is I just don t get it, really Is it just that being complete deaf in a love story holds morbid fascination And I find it VERY hard to believe that Spencer catches every sentence said by every person that is involved in every conversation Firstly, it s IMPOSSIBLE to understand every word without sounds, there are lots of words that have similar pronunciation, so maybe you get a high percentage of them, but not all of them And English is a tricky language, the lips movements are not that different from each other, and for a person who has never in his life heard a thing, to relate the movement with the sound looks like an odyssey Secondly, Spencer voice doesn t sound like he has any kind of problem for modulation I mean, they only mention that he speaks with the words very separated from each other, and the sentences are written with dots after every word But nobody has any difficulty understanding him Believe me, it s very hard to understand deaf people Their voices are suffocated as they don t use the vocal cords correctly I ve met lots of deaf people in my life and with some the communication was only achieved thanks to my lip reading and not my hearing Maybe there are super special exceptions out there But the chance is small.Thirdly, let s say you do get 100% of the words When you talk to one person, that s fine, you look at him her the whole time Unless that person is eating, or suddenly looks behind him her, or he she is crying or laughing and his her lips are not moving the same, or you are walking along the street and you look to see if the traffic light is red or green You would lose part of the sentence No matter how you look at it, there will always be a part you don t catch But then imagine it s not only one person, but two You look at the first person s lips, then that person stops talking, and while you realize the other person is the one who s talking at that moment, you look at him her and he she s already in the second or third word or sentence And if you add and people, the thing is only harder and harder Now you have to guess who is the next one that is going to talk And maybe some speak at the same time Now let s say you are having lunch with your family Do you always sit in a place where you see everybody s face Maybe if it s a big round table but the problem remains the same.Think about it for a sec Or two.Yes, it s very difficult and tiring and frustrating and lonely to be deaf.This situations changes not only that person but the people around that person, too Conversations become less spontaneous, in the sense that you can t let them flow normally, you have to be very aware that the deaf person is seeing you and that makes the dialogues less dynamic For instance, although for Spencer it s not the case because he hears nothing, normally families tend to speak louder and vocalize clearer than the average person, so in the end their ordinary volume is higher and that could astonish normal people even if the deaf relative is not around It s very logical but that s only the tip of the iceberg.Maybe I exaggerated it a bit but I wanted to make a point and for you to realize things are not that simple for a deaf person Of course when you have a disability you try to compensate, but it s very difficult to do so I m not talking about needing lights while driving or having special alarm clocks or not answering to the phone You have to be aware that the info that person receives is always going to be partial and biased, and that has an influence, you want it or not We know that one word in a sentence can change the meaning of it all, and if you don t catch that important word you misunderstand the whole message.Spencer has not that problem He s just so quick and clever he knows how every dialogue is going to be and when and how every person is going to participate in it And he never, never, NEVER asks for some kind of repetition Not once And he never, never, NEVER misunderstands a thing Not once This is sci fi instead of YA I m aware close relatives would be considerate and know how to deal with it But there weren t any changes in Aaron s family dynamics while having a meal Just don t speaking with a full mouth So to cover that and try to convince us he has difficulties, the interpreter enters the scene Well, that s weak It didn t work.I know one girl who is just like him She needs an interpreter during the classes, too, although it s just by lip reading because she doesn t know ASL She s very clever and knows her way around, so I know what I m talking about I could believe Spencer is very independent, deafness is not synonymous of weakness, but it surely gives you some kind of vulnerability It makes you insecure and susceptible to hurt than the average person I get the frustration and disappointment when a person you like is told you can t hear and suddenly he she exaggerates the vocalization and it s difficult to understand the words I can also get the feeling of loss, although that about a person deserting you just after discovering your handicap has never happened to me And if that happened, I would send that person to hell first I guess I have the luck of only meeting people who are sensitive and comprehensive, or maybe it s just coincidence all the assholes in the world meet Spencer and not me My issue here is that he s just a normal guy without the hearing, and without the problems created by that disability, so in the end he wasn t believable for me I know about Spencer s desperation at the beginning of the book, the need to connect with someone but that first scene with the view spoiler deliver boy hide spoiler

  6. says:

    Somehow lost my original review of this one This is a very intense story about survival, PTSD, and reclaiming life from the effects of severe trauma It pulls you into Aaron s world of darkness from the start I really liked Spencer, and his own issues and progress, and how his deafness played into the dynamics I appreciated that Aaron s parents seemed like real people, not perfect, not evil, just doing what they felt was best, coping with a child who is hurting so much, but so hard to reach I loved that this book moved slowly, and didn t end with all problems solved and everything HEA.It loses a star, because I had really significant issues with the therapist in this book there were times when he behaved quite unprofessionally, and in ways that could have had serious repercussions I felt like Aaron got better partly in spite of, not always because of, his actions An intense, emotional book about the healing power of love and human connection.

  7. says:

    4.5 This is a hard book to categorize, it is touching, beautiful, heartbreaking, meaningful, tragic and hopeful.It isn t in anyway a romance imo, it s of a journey that Aaron is on to find his way back into a life that had been stolen from him.Aaron s POV is difficult and painful at times, but I never felt any gratuitous angst or drama was included, it was just a hard place to be.Finding and loving Spencer is just one of the stepping stones on that path, and I m glad, because as much as I would want it to be otherwise, love just doesn t conquer all Aaron s family is amazing and even the decision they make with respect to Spencer s dad is understandable.Spencer and his issues take a bit of a backseat to Aaron s but they are just as heart wrenchingI finished this book with a hopeful outlook for all the people and lives involved in this story.

  8. says:

    J.P Barnaby did a wonderful job with this book Aaron was a book I was extremely nervous to read Two difficult issues were dealt with in this, both were tackled head on and done very well The abuse and rape character versus the deaf character felt very natural I enjoyed this read and have read it a few times since.Arron was trying to deal with issues he has since an attack that left him psychologically scarred and his best friend dead I loved the way he was portrayed, everything was a battle for him and there was never a magical cure The magical cure works well for fantasy but a story that felt so real, needs to be shown realistically My heart bled for him throughout his struggles From his parents, to his issues being around and seeing people, Aaron was dealing with a lot His feeling like he would be better off dead was also a situation that was handled impeccably He didn t come across as a weak character as such He came across as a boy who lost his way after something tragic and horrific Nothing about Aaron was particularly weak Just broke.Spencer was deaf He was not any less complex but his issue was not as difficult He was deaf Although he had to do things differently, he was still a normal kind of guy One of the issues he had was getting guys to stick around after they found out he was deaf I felt kind of bad it made such an impact on him.The romance in this book was sweet I smiled during the scenes Aaron and Spencer shared as friends, and those between them as a couple It was not all about sex, but healing and love The ending was something the melted my heart I would gladly read this book again and again Highly recommend this book It s one of those must reads.

  9. says:

    I am giving this 5 stars right off the bat because I stayed up all night reading it, couldn t get to the end fast enough, and when I got there, I still wanted .Now, for the story I felt the beginning was dragging on a little bit We learned about how Aaron feels about his life now, and it seemed to be told over and over, until things started moving again when he went to college that first day Then, things rolled along nicely Poor, sweet Aaron I was scouring the pages for details of his attack rape where they were handed out like crumbs on a trail to the full story He is just so broken inside, it is hard to believe he will ever be able to function normally again Spencer is such a sweet little slut puppy I never knew there were people actually having Twitter sex Anyway, I loved that he was damaged as well and was able to understand Aaron s needs, wanted to help and to be his friend They really are perfect for each other in so many ways I really enjoyed watching Aaron start to heal with the help of Spencer and his father.I loved Aaron s brothers and the way they stood up for him and helped him through the difficult times even though they had to be totally frustrated by the situation Their parents didn t bother me until close to the end It bugged me that they couldn t see the positive changes in Aaron after he started seeing Spencer s father At the end, I felt like I missed a big chunk of their life I suppose the book would be way too long if it didn t skip ahead through some points, and perhaps I was just being greedy in wanting to see and learn about Aaron s attack, further healing and the budding relationship between he and Spencer.

  10. says:

    I had the honor to read an early copy of this wonderful book.Aaron is a broken young man, physically, spiritually and emotionally He s the survivor of a vicious attack, the details of which are slowly revealed over the course of the book He s frozen in time, uncertain if he even wants to live.Then something happens that forces him out of his paralysis, and he dredges up the little courage he can find and dares to venture into the world again Back to school.I don t want to venture too far into the storyline, but he meets a young deaf man, Spencer, who challenges the vision of the future or lack of vision Aaron has resigned himself to.This is a difficult book to read It s moves me on a visceral level, and I struggle with wanting to help this young man and trying to imagine his pain But damn it, it is so worth the journey Ms Barnaby knows how to touch us on a primal level while maintaining her own emotional distance, and it s a rare and beautiful feat.This book will not be for everyone, and that s okay But for those willing to step out without a net, it s worth the risk.

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