Apocalypse Cow

Apocalypse Cow When Scientists With Warped Imaginations Accidentally Unleash An Experimental Bioweapon That Transforms Britain S Animals Into Sneezing, Bloodthirsty Zombies With A Penchant For Pre Dinner Sex With Their Victims, Three Misfits Become The Unlikely Hope For Salvation Abattoir Worker Terry Borders Love Life Is Crippled By The Stench Of Death That Clings To His Skin From His Days Spent Slaughtering Cows Teenage Vegan Geldof Scabby Peters Alternates Between Scratching Furiously At His Rash And Baiting His Overbearing New Age Mother And Inept Journalist Lesley McBrien Struggles Forlornly In The Shadow Of Her Famous War Correspondent Father And The Star Journalist At The Glasgow TribuneWhen Britain Begins A Rapid Descent Into Chaos And Ministers Cynically Attempt To Blame Al Qaeda, Lesley Stumbles Upon Proof That The Government Is Behind The Outbreak During Her Bumbling Quest To Unveil The Truth, She Crosses Paths With Terry And Geldof, And Together They Set Out To Escape A Quarantined Britain With The Evidence And Vital Data That Could Unlock A Cure For The Virus Standing In The Way Are Rampaging Hordes Of Animals, A Ruthless Security Agent, And An Army Ready To Shoot Anybody With A Case Of The Sniffles On The Off Chance The Virus Has MutatedThree Losers Overwhelming Odds A Single Outcome The World Is Screwed

Michael Logan is an award winning Scottish writer, whose career has taken him across the globe.His debut novel, Apocalypse Cow, won the Terry Pratchett First Novel Prize Since then, the sequel, World War Moo, and two unrelated novels, Wannabes and Hell s Detective, have hit the shelves.Michael s short fiction has appeared in publications such as The Telegraph, Chapman and Underground Voices He w

⚣ [PDF] ✅ Apocalypse Cow  By Michael   Logan ✰ – Uc0.info
  • Paperback
  • 352 pages
  • Apocalypse Cow
  • Michael Logan
  • English
  • 01 February 2019
  • 9781250032867

10 thoughts on “Apocalypse Cow

  1. says:

    Firstly, for full disclosure I m married to this man Whether this means I m a harsher critic or biased in his favour, I ll let you decide.This is essentially my husband in book form hilarious, a bit gross and a bit cheeky It s a novel about zombie cows after all.Apocalypse Cow is very visual, well paced, the dialogue is great and the characters are funny I read this during its many edits and enjoyed it every time Although the topic is pretty unique, the writing style is similar to authors such as Jasper Fforde and Robert Rankin.I ll stop there since you may not place too much value in my opinion, but it did make Terry Pratchett snort with laughter.

  2. says:

    Last year saw the launch of the Terry Pratchett Anywhere But Here, Anywhen But Now First Novel Award More than 500 manuscripts came chasing the 20,000 prize for previously unpublished novelists, and ultimately it was split between two winners, Michael Logan and David Logan no relation.The winning novels, Apocalypse Cow and Half Sick of Shadows are different than chalk and cheese, which at least are both high in calcium The competition s requirements boil down to alternative, imaginative, weird which is a broad remit.In Apocalypse Cow Michael Logan gives us a fast paced dark comedy stuffed with violence, sprinkled with sex, not unreminiscent of Tom Sharpe s work He includes witty lines and observations Pratchettesque in their pointiness We re served an homage to zombie apocalypse movies The disparate gang of survivors in this case battling to survive the predations of zombie herds rather than zombie hordes Zombie well, infected animals of all shapes and sizes attempt to first have sex with, and then devour, our heroes.Now writing comedy is hard First, you have to write well, then you have to be funny One liners are good, but you can t build a novel from them You have to make characters readers will care about, characters that live and grow Fortunately, Michael Logan a journalist by trade has done a solid job of writing and an excellent job of being funny Without the humour this could be a decent horror novel providing you could take the zombie squirrels seriously It s a light and very entertaining read, failing only at the last hurdle when it seems to lose internal consistency and fall into a cartoonish finale Frenchmen seemingly drawn from Monty Python sketches shepherd us toward a weak conclusion, saved to some degree by the very last chapter.Half Sick of Shadows is a very different beast Where Logan M gives us workman like prose and a compelling plot, Logan D gives sublime prose and a general absence of plot David Logan writes magical lines, he works wonders with word, loops them around ideas and captures them whole for you He also deploys the child s eye view to highly amusing effect with innocent interpretation and off beat observation The first half of Half Sick reads like literary fiction of high quality, calling to mind Angela s Ashes Frank McCourt though perhaps only because both are first person accounts starting with young boys growing in Irish poverty There are hints of supernatural but through the eyes of a strange child one might imagine them to be unreliable narration, at least for the first half of the book At about the halfway point, strangeness sets in, credulity becomes strained, characters exaggerate into caricature and yet you can t believe it isn t by intent the trust in Logan s skill built up in the opening carries you forward Strange is stacked on strange and things grow increasingly surreal I can t claim that I got the ending I m not sure if there s a concrete thing Logan intends for the reader to get, or if it s an exercise in ambiguity and mystery Either way, both Logans disappointed me with their endings after delighting me in very different ways with their starts and middles In neither case though did I feel my reading time had been poorly spent I can see why these books won and why the judges were unable to agree to select one above the other Both probably had implacable champions around the judging table.The TPABHABNFN Award s first year has brought forth two diverse offerings, one entertaining and uproariously funny in places, the other intriguing, beautiful, and ultimately baffling Both very worthy of your attention.Join my 3 emails a year newsletter prizes

  3. says:

    It started with the cows.They were beyond MAD, sporting disgusting lesions and red, glowing eyes The virus spread quickly from animal to animal, and soon, even the cutest kittens were infected andhungryLogan has dreamed up a fun story Most of the tale is played for laughs, though there are some serious and violent moments He takes the done to death plot device of having a small band of survivors trapped inside a confined area by a swarming horde of zombies and turns it sideways by having the zombies consist of cute woodland critters and former household pets This is made even delicious by having one of the survivors, an avowed meat eater, constantly clashing with his rabidly vegan neighbor Ah, the fun times these two get up toThe whole book is a delightful exercise in pure escapism, although the bits about the government s involvement and subsequent cover up make everything seem, welljust a little bitplausible.Wait What s that scratching noise at the window Nooooooooo

  4. says:

    I am shamelessly adding my own book without a rating to get one book closer to my 2012 book challenge total I proofread it this year, and since that has the word read in it I feel I am justified Actually, I know that is very weak, but I am 8 books behind I am desperate

  5. says:

    I don t get it Was this meant to be funny, or just plain vulgar I don t like crude humor at even the best of times, but that s not my only issue with this book It uses the hugely cliche zombie subgenre plot, the jokes are either incredibly lame or disgusting, and although it s written for an older audience, its style just screams immature 7th grader, proud of himself for writing a curse word on a school bathroom wall I just didn t find this book funny or original at all.

  6. says:

    Obviously I picked up Apocalypse Cow because it was a book about zombies, and cleverly titled to show that the author had a sense of humor One would assume that this book would be beyond silly, and not really worth much at all but for a few laughs The cover, title, and plot summary makes you think this is just some B level trash In all honesty however, this book was entertaining as hell I haven t read a book so genuinely fun and exciting since something like Wayside School back in the days of elementary school Michael Logan did an outstanding job at making a story of zombies or infection unique, creative, and it stands out as some of the best work in the genre.The book definitely kind of reads like a B movie in the horror genre, but there s something about Logan s writing that is just laugh out loud hysterical I haven t been tempted to laugh frequently when reading a book, or even as often as I did while reading Apocalypse Cow and that really speaks volumes for how great this book is It s not just a silly book, and it s not full of only laughs and witty writing The book is equally as disgusting and horrifying as it is hilarious, and it goes to show why Michael Logan won the Terry Pratchett Prize for this book even though it s his very first full length novel I was so impressed by Logan s writing, especially being that it was his first novel ever written Everything was present at the beginning of the book to get you reading, all of the humor and comedy draws the reader in Then as the book progresses, it gets intense and a lot metaphorical as the story shapes up It is really such a perfectly layered work of fiction, it makes you wonder how Michael Logan has never published a full book before.There s so much content in this book, and I wish I could talk about it in depth to explain how this could be one of the greatest horror comedy experiences I ve ever had I m a huge fan of horror comedy film, and to be as impressed by this as I am by one of my favorite films Shaun of the Dead, I d say Michael Logan did a great job There is plenty of blood and gore here, there are plenty of characters with variety to empathize with Geldof the Gray was a very likable, innocent, but intelligent protagonist who serves as the main voice of the story Lesley is your ditzy blonde character in typical horror fashion, and Terry is your bad ass guy that has to be the ring leader at times to get things done in the apocalypse The greatest characters in this book however, are the infected animals There are some outrageous and completely wacky scenes with these creatures, and their entrances into their scenes were always classic From cows to pigs, and squirrels to rats, there was no shortage of animal gags and gross outs I would highly recommend Apocalypse Cow to anyone looking for a good book of laughter, a unique take on the zombie genre, or just a downright entertaining book Don t let the cover and title fool you, this book won the Terry Pratchett for a reason May Michael Logan milk the success of this book for as long as he wants, it is well deserved, but please bring us some this greatness please Originally posted at sixthreezy at the movies

  7. says:

    The news reports says it was a stampede that sadly resulted in the abattoir burning to the ground But one cow didn t die and soon a virus has been unleashed which turns Scotland s cattle into slobbering, sneezing, flesh craving and horny beasts.Not only did a cow survive, but abattoir worker, Terry also made it through the massacre but is now being held hostage in what looks suspiciously like a secret government research facility The tip off of the government s involvement falls into the lap of the worst reporter at the Glasgow Tribune, who s just lost her job Geldof is a miserable teenage boy, ginger hair, English, vegan parents that force him to wear hemp and won t allow him to even have a sniff of meat Their neighbours include Terry s meat loving cousin who also has anger issues Can this motley bunch save the day Or is Britain doomed to be nuked by the French There are some of you that will shy away from this because it has zombies in it Yet the death is never the subject of the jokes The characters mourn their losses and feel regret at leaving people behind The humour is in the things that people do under stress and their reactions Middle class suburbanites trying to hoist their Samsonite cases onto evacuation trucks The vegan who is convinced her meat free life will ultimately save her The things that teenage boys do that could possibly be mistaken for a zombie attack The squirrels The kitten Go on, read it and you ll see.Humour is often under appreciated in the book world People want books that make them feel something but often dismiss books that will make them laugh out loud It s hard to say in a review what I thought was funny because I can easily ruin the jokes for you but I can say that after chapter 18 I had to put the down for a few minutes because I was laughing so much The kind the bubbles up when you think you re done.

  8. says:

    Three a stars An entertaining but totally predictable zombie book.Geldof isn t your typical teenager He absolutely detests hemp because his mother insists that he wear all hemp clothing which he is extremely allergic to His parents are liberal hippies who walk around naked, and they are strict vegetarians His father spends his days gardening and smoking weed, while his mother preaches her beliefs to anyone who will listen Terry spends his days working in a beef slaughterhouse where he mindlessly kills cows Across town, Lesley is an aspiring reporting going absolutely nowhere Soon all three of their paths will collide thanks to a virus unleashed among the cattle population causing the cows to become zombies The virus quickly spreads throughout the animal population bringing death and mayhem Terry and Lesley stumble upon the truth, and it is up to them,with the aid of Geldof and a few others, to get the truth out to the world Can the trio survive the cow apocalypse What I Liked Being a sucker for a good zombie book, I had to pick up Apocalypse Cow Even though I was a bit disappointed in the predictability of the story, I found that I liked the characters, and that I enjoyed the twist on zombies You will think differently about cows and rats after reading this one There are three main characters Geldof, an awkward, brilliant, teenage math genius, forced to acquiesce to his parents strong hippy views Geldof longs to eat meat and he fantasizes endlessly about his neighbor Mary Terry is an average man who toils in a slaughterhouse He is unable to form any romantic attachments because he is convinced he smells like rancid meat Lesley is an intrepid reporter who has yet to receive her big break I loved this rag tag band of characters, and I liked that there were misfit, awkward and struggling The rest of the characters are just as interesting from Fanny, Geldof s liberal mother who believes animals will get their dues, to the crazed, meat eating neighbor next door I liked the different personalities and watching them clash and then learn to work together This is surprisingly a very character driven story Even though there wasn t much originality with the whole zombie virus aside from the fact that it affects animals I did like the twist with the zombie animals I also liked the sinister motives behind the zombie cows, and it was a bit terrifying to think that it could possibly happen The story is full of blood, guts, death and mayhem as the population succumbs to rampaging zombie animals You can expect some nasty deaths, and lots of action I liked, though, that this wasn t all horror and gore It has some surprising funny moments The strong cast of characters also helps to balance out the horror If you like your horror on the lighter side, this is a good one to pick up The ending is satisfying in that it brings to a close the story without leaving a bunch of unanswered questions It seems it is going to end well, and then the author throws out a tantalizing tidbit for the next book Not exactly a cliffhanger, but it does end with a big hook for book two And The Not So Much I picked up Apocalypse Cow expecting a unique zombie book, but unfortunately aside from the twist with the zombie animals, it plays out like a typical zombie book You get the arrival of the virus followed by the quick and catastrophic destruction of society The story line tracks a rag tag group on the run as they try and reach safety, and of course along the way, they encounter all kinds of obstacles and their numbers are diminished as they move along It plays out like any other zombie book you have read It does have the zombie animals and some humor going for it I was led to believe that his was going to be a funny book While there is some comedic relief in it, overall, the story isn t that funny I was hoping for quirky and demented but that isn t what I got Again, this is pretty much a regular zombie book There is a twist at the end with the sudden mutation of the virus, and it didn t really make sense as to why all of a sudden the virus changes It wasn t realistic especially considering the number of times the main characters were exposed Apocalypse Cow was an entertaining read that provides a new twist on zombies I enjoyed the characters and story, but was a bit disappointed that the book ended up being predictable and that is played out like any other zombie book I have read I was hoping for a bit originality and I wanted humor Still if you are a fan of zombie books, this is worth a go I purchased a copy of this book All opinions are my own and I was not compensated for this review Posted Rainy Day Ramblings.

  9. says:

    4 StarsApocalypse Cow is Grade A musing This is a comedic horror novel that puts i nice twist on the zombie genre Michael Logan has created a fun little read that is similar in plot to David Moody s Hater series Only in this one, it is our animals that are doing the hating.There are some laugh out loud moments in this one The pacing is good There are plenty of characters to like and to loathe This is the perfect afternoon read.Sure there is a pretty in your face political message in this one about animal rights, eating meat, and the nobility of the vegan But, it does not detract from the fun of this read You can chew the fat of the message later on Let me get this straight Your plan is to sit here and hope the good vegan vibes you re sending out will protect us Fanny and James both nodded It s Judgement Day for all the carnivores, Geldof, Fanny said Those poor animals lived a life of servitude to fill mankind s bellies Now they re fighting back But the righteous will survive My favorite scene involves the main hero Terry, the abattoir worker, explains why he chose his profession Terry sighed deeply When I found their bodies, the cows had fled the scene of the crime But I swore I would avenge my parents deaths I took a job in an abattoir, hoping one day to meet the cow that killed my parents and claim my vengeance A fun read that is easy to recommend.

  10. says:

    I picked this up because it won an award from for Terry Pratchett It also had an endorsement quote from him on the cover I didn t snort out loud once, and barely got a chuckle those were mainly in the punny titles to the chapters I finished the book a tough slog at times, not because of density of writing, but because it was boring and predictable I kept hoping I was wrong, that there d be something just around the bendnope It takes the idea that I ve thought of often with all zombie books movies why aren t the animals affected Mr Logan s entire premise is just that The set up is the animals turn, the humans don t I m ok with that SPOILERS seriously don t read of this if you are still thinking of reading the book Things happen towards the end that, with all that same set up, turns on a dime The villain does turn, and then all of Great Britain does as well, even though our main characters who survive have been sneezed on bitten scratched during the book No rhyme or reason why, and it all seems like a set up for a series I ll pass.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *