Torn (All Torn Up, #1)

Torn (All Torn Up, #1) When I Was Five Years Old I Told Toren Grace I Was Going To Marry Him When I Grew Up When I Turned Eighteen I Made It Clear I Still Felt The Same The Problem He S Fifteen Years Older Than Me And He S My Father S Best Friend Toren Grace My Father S Best Friend My Pseudo Uncle He S Always Been My Rock The One I Should Never, Ever Want But I Do Want Him, And I Love Him I Always Have He Loves Me TooTor S One Of The Good Guys Loving Devoted A Strong Moral Compass One Kiss Between Us Rocked Him Clear Off His Axis Now We Can T Forget How That Kiss Felt, And What It Changed Nothing Will Ever Be The Same Between Us I Know He S Struggling With His Feelings, But I M Determined I M Not A Little Girl Any, And We Can T Deny We Were Meant To Be Together The Heart Wants What The Heart Wants, And It Doesn T Care About Age Or How We Met My Father Cares, Though And He S The One Person Neither One Of Us Can Stand To Hurt We Re All Being Torn Apart, And I Don T Know How To Make Everyone See That The Wrongs Are Actually Right Torn Can Be Read As A Single Book

I have a passion for the bad boys, those covered in tattoos, sexy smirks, ripped jeans, fast cars, motorcycles and of course, the sweet girls that try to tame them and win their hearts My debut series, Ashes Embers, follows the lives of rock band members as they find, and sometimes lose, the loves of their lives.My first novel in the Ashes Embers series, Storm, was published in

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  • Kindle Edition
  • 422 pages
  • Torn (All Torn Up, #1)
  • Carian Cole
  • English
  • 13 May 2019

10 thoughts on “Torn (All Torn Up, #1)

  1. says:

    DNF 27%OkayOkay I just can t finish this thing And I m about to get snarky here I apologize beforehand Okay, not really But anyblatantlie, I knew the writing was on the wall for me and this book when I read this My brother Tanner usually opens up the shop and I close, because he s a morning person and I m usually up late at night, saving lost pets and stalking bad guys You think I m kidding I m not Ohoh boy Well, thanks for the clarification That bomb of ridiculous was followed by this little tidbit After I finish the paperwork bullshit, I switch gears and focus on my role as the head of Devils Wolves MC and pet rescueDevils Wolves was my brainchild about five years ago, fueled by my deep respect for two things that my parents instilled in us the love of pets and motorcycles Okayso you are a tatted up, badass MC Clubberwho saves puppieswhen he s not being an MC badassAND your best friends are BOTH part of two completely separate and yet equally famous rock bands Okay, that all just sounds ridiculous to me, quite frankly But I was willing to go with it.But thennot only does he save puppieshe and his manly biker friends also get all vigilante on us and break up dog fighting rings at night They aren t cops.They have absolutely NO authority to do this And they are dealing with supposed legit gang bangers who are running dog rings But don t worry All of us are trained fighters and know how to disarm someone Oh geez But the moment it all fell apart for me Badass and his band of merry dog saving MC Clubbers is going to another den of nefarious happenings to break up a fighting ring and save the dogs snort During thealtercation, baddy sics his pit bull on our saviors using German commands.BUT Because he is SO alpha and awesome AND apparently knows German commands, Badass gives his own commands, overriding baddy s commands and the dog stops his attack and looks to Badass as his new master Ummmmmno Before I go any further, let me just say that I come from a law enforcement family Half my family are cops, including my husband, who spent nine years as a K 9 Handler I have LIVED with a police dog for over 10 years And NO trained dog or ANY dog for that matter is going to listen to a command from a stranger that directly contradicts a command just given to it by its master I m sorry, I m just not buying it And then, if that wasn t bad enough, Badass follows that whole ridiculous scenario with this gem I ve learned that making another man s dog listen to your commands is right up there with sleeping with his woman I, of course, read this entire scene to the Husband He rolled his eyes through all of it, chuckled through the part where they said they are trained fighters, and when I got to that little gem about commands and women This was his response For like a full minute.Followed by, What the fuck are you reading You read weird shit, but this one sounds especially stupid Elllll ohhhhh elllll.Ah, thank you for unknowingly providing me with that little soundbite, Husband But I digress.I just couldn t buy into this one I don t buy them being vigilantes for puppy justice and I m not down with them supposedly doing all this with NO authority and or the support of any authority It was just ridiculous to me My friend Al Pal and I had a conversation about this once Sometimes you just can t read books about things you know too much about because you become too critical For example, she s a nurse and has trouble with books that take place in the medical field Because all she sees are the errors in medical terminology and the fuck ups in common practices I think this is true for all of us Anything that you know a lot about or have a lot of experience with You are going to be a lot critical of a book about it It s just human nature And I m not saying that the events in this book couldn t happen, I m just saying that with my experience with law enforcement and dog training, I am having a harder time buying into it all.That said, a lot of my friends really liked this book and I really wanted to like it too I love the premise of Badass loving Prodigal Band Baby her whole life and the two of them ending up together And maybe I ll skim through it at some point Just not today Find me at

  2. says:

    I don t want him to be any sort of uncle to me or be my dad s best friend I want him to be MINE DEEP BREATH Since this is a taboo romance I want to I start this review by answering all of the questions I had myself prior to reading it Age gap YES, 15 years Blood relatives NO Underage sex NO YEARLY, KEEP READING I have to applaud Carian Cole for creating a unique, unconventional and delicate situation and shaping it into such a beautiful friends to lovers romance Once you strip all the technicalities away you are left with two characters whose friendship developed into love Kenzi, the heroine, is born into a family of famous teen musicians They have to be away from her quite often and so they have their best friend Toren help babysit and essentially raise her They are all 15 at the time, by the way Does this look like a normal situation No So why expect a normal result So you can probably see where this is going, right Kenzi grows up and, once she turns 18, the relationship between her and Toren starts changing The torment was handled very well here These two understand perfectly well how they will be crucified in their immediate social circles and yet the pull between them is so strong that the collision is inevitable How will Kenzi s father react to his best friend being with his little girl I loved both of the characters to bits Kenzi is a sweet and brave girl who follows her heart to get what she wants Toren is a gentle soul who is all man with some savageness to him I loved how he saw Kenzi and how fiercely he loved her I m staring down at cleavage for days surrounded by thin, teasing black lace that I want to chew through to get to her In the scheme of things, these two grew up together The transformation from caretaker to friend to lover was very well done He is her first love and she is his, too On a side note, I would like to add that the hero in this book spends his free time rescuing stray animals Carian Cole s books feature pets and she donates to PET RESCUE from her proceeds So not only would you be getting an awesome story to enjoy but also a satisfaction of helping an animal in need Highly recommended to those who love taboo forbidden love stories, friends to lovers tropes and super romantic yet highly erotic reads with tons of anticipation and sexual tension I might have been itching, no joke This was a buddy read with my friend AmyLouAldaMay There was no bitching and moaning needed in this one but there s always next time 3

  3. says:

    3.5 Stars Why is it acceptable to get involved with a total stranger, who could do any number of things to hurt you or betray you, but not get involved with someone who has cared about you since the day you were born Is it all a matter of social perspective Once again I picked up a book based on its controversial theme than anything else I was a little afraid the events would creep me out in some way but luckily that didn t happen The subject matter is skillfully handled so that I didn t have a problem with the age difference nor with the fact that the hero was a family friend Despite being a taboo book, this book is beautiful and warm than shocking, dark or gritty It isn t overloaded with too much drama and I really liked that for a change But what I liked the most was that falling in love happened slowly and convincingly Overall, this was a good read and I really enjoyed it Some parts were intense and gripping and those were the parts I loved the most, especially the first third and the last third of the book The characterization and the writing are well done The characters are mature, likable and easily relatable.On the downside, the middle of the book was too slow and a bit boring The ending was a bit unsatisfying it felt too rushed disrupting the flow of the story Also, some of the secondary events in this book felt strange to me and were redundant or not detailed enough.QUICK REVIEW Enjoyment 3.5 5Writing style 4 5Storyline 3 5Hero 4 5Heroine 4 5Secondary characters 4 5 Hotness chemistry 3 5 Romance 4 5 Angst 3 5Darkness level 2 5Humor 3 5 Depth of the book 4 5POV dual Triggers view spoiler Some might find this book slightly uncomfortable due to the large age difference and the fact that the hero is the heroine s father s friend However, there are no underage sex scenes in this book hide spoiler

  4. says:

    This is gonna be a long one like maybe the longest I ve ever written so, get comfy This book was unfreakingbelievably AMAZING and that s putting it mildly.It had everything I could want in a book engaging characters, one of which is an AWESOME book boyfriend , terrific writing, and a well developed plot line I highlighted so many parts of this book because of all the perfect moments there were I know this book seems controversial, and if everything is taken out of context, it might seem creepy But it s not It s far freaking from it I honestly couldn t imagine Tor and Kenzi falling in love with anyone else, they were perfect together 3 And I m not saying this in the sense that they had chemistry or somehow they just worked together No, this author genuinely crafted a wonderful novel and made it clear that they really were soulmates Kenzi Being the daughter of two rockstars made her experience growing up different than most One of the results is that she is much mature than most of the people her age You can tell the difference in how she thinks and even how she interacts with her best friend, Chloe Growing up is about a lot than age Growing up is about the experiences you have, and Kenzi s had a lot She isn t in that weird place that most teenagers are in where they are struggling to find themselves Kenzi knows what she wants Is it too fifties to want to get married and have kids I love when women can confidently state that this is something they want Because no, there s nothing wrong with wanting to stay home and take care of your family Not at a all, it s a job too and with Kenzi s tender nature and already having experienced a wild phase by vicariously living through her parents, it makes a lot of sense.She doesn t see Tor as someone to love right away, but once she does realize it, she doesn t hold back Kenzi chases him and never wavers in her feelings And what proved her maturity even was her discussions with Tor She laid out her feelings, and they talked about the problems and what they wanted It never felt juvenile or like he was pressuring her In fact, he s pretty torn up about it.But, at the end of the day, she knows it s Tor she wants and she sees him for what he s always been When I look at you, I don t see my father s friend, or my uncle, or my godfather, or an older man All I see is the person I ve always loved and has always made me happy Tor Good God, he was perfect I feel bad for the next few books I ll read because the bar is pretty damn high right now He was absolutely incredible and I have many quotes to prove it and this is the narrowed down list I mean how can you not swoon at these lines I m just waiting for the one that makes me feel like forever wouldn t be long enough I just want that magical feeling I wrote about years ago when I used to write the lyrics for the band s rock ballads I want crazy fucking love I want someone that ll never let me go I want to wake up to my best friend every day The moment I kissed Kenzi, she became the One Maybe she always was Young love first love is so innocent So pure and trusting So all encompassing I shouldn t be on the receiving end of that love from her at my age, but in all honesty, she s my first love, too. I think I m falling in love with her, and I m powerless to stop it I can feel it, like a train with no brakes, coming faster and faster, straight for me Soon, it s going to crash, and it s not going to be pretty And then there s this I freaking LOVE this he s discussing his celibacy for the past six months, and his sister tells him it s impressive that he s abstained His response No, it s love I only want her That s it Like YES Why is this a hard concept It s not like your dick will fall off if you don t use it every four seconds I m tired of reading books where the guy physically can t keep it in his pants.He was so dedicated to Kenzi And in regards to the other women in his life, I never really got the feeling he loved them Tor is simply tired of being overlooked He had to give up his dreams in order to take care of his family when his father died, watching his friends go on and get famous without him Then he gets his crush, which is Kenzi s mom, stolen from him by Asher, his best friend I could see some people being bothered by this But honestly, I didn t feel that he wanted Ember as much as he just didn t want to be second best I mean, they were 15 years old And I m not saying 15 year olds don t know what love is, but I think often than not, the love teenagers feel is often a crush infatuation And I think from that point on, Tor just wanted someone he could trust and love, and know that he was this person s number one When he talks about these things later on, he says, I m not going to be anyone s second choice And when Asher takes Ember s attention that first day at 15 years old, Tor thinks, I can feel myself slipping into the background He s not necessarily just thinking about Ember, he s thinking about himself being overlooked, not being enough.I felt the same way with Sydni and Lisa his relationships before Kenzi Personally, I don t believe Tor loved either of them Again, he just wanted a connection Even though Sydni s relationship with him spanned intermittently 12 years, I think it was a comfort thing.But with Kenzi, he knows he s her number one She s been showing him since she was a little kid, and it s not weird or unsettling It s all just really beautiful Also, I m really glad he had relationships during that time I totally understand the concept of not wanting the hero or heroine to sleep around after meeting the one, but if the one happens to be six years old yeah that d be weird for me I think if he hadn t had relationships it would have been really strange And like I said, he didn t love them, so I really didn t mind.He was all about Kenzi We get a lot of great flashbacks of Kenzi when she was younger, and we get to see how non creepy Tor was It was one hundred percent normal And while he takes some convincing because he is a really good guy and doesn t want to betray his friend like that , once their relationship does change, he doesn t shy away He s with her Full stop Is it possible that falling in love doesn t always start when we think it might, and sometimes, it starts way before we re ready, and grows slowly over time, allowing two people to truly fall in love with every aspect of each other I loved this theme I think it s awesome what this author did It is not a conventional love story, but I felt it so deeply She took such care with the characters and it seemed like every single word was carefully thought through It was absolutely breathtaking.Now about the ending While I do agree with others, I didn t love how long the separation was or some of the particulars around the reconciliation and I wished their HEA was longer, I was able to overlook it I think it was realistic to give them that time apart because Asher would not have come around much quicker And I m satisfied knowing that Tor and Kenzi will be back in Asher s book and we ll get to see of their HEA 3 3Oh, and can we talk about Asher I freaking loved him and his devotion to Ember He thinks he can love her back to life, Tor That s what he believes I can t wait for his story

  5. says:

    DNF 36% The line between Tor and I is somewhat unique, because it criss crosses between family and friend, and just now it blurred into something I can t quite describe This was pitched to me as a romance where a young woman falls in love with her father s best friend And like, I was looking for something taboo and smutty, so I was ready for it But I didn t know that 1 The girl was going to be seventeen, which I get is legal in some states, but it still skeezes me the fuck out And 2 that the dad s best friend was going to be a very big figure in her life from the day of her birth Like, he was legitimately there the day she was born and given the title of godfather And this book is told with constant flashbacks, which I was also unaware of, which shows the girl literally growing up, and these pivotal moments in her life, where her dad s best friend is there acting as a parental figure And friends, life is too short for me to ignore this grooming ass behavior Again, I m totally here for a forbidden romance with an age gap, but grooming No, never Like, I understand that this is supposed to be taboo, and I get that, but it was just too much for me and honestly made me a little sick to my stomach to read, which is really saying something Whenever I saw a flashback coming, I just had such a gross and visceral reaction I hated it, I truly hated it Like, I hated it than I have words for And I love myself, and I refuse to push myself through something I am truly hating But if you think you can handle this book s grossness taboo content, then I d maybe give it a try, because all of my friends have loved this one So, take my review with a grain of salt But also, be aware that the grooming vibes are real and present in this story Blog Instagram Twitter Tumblr Youtube TwitchBuddy Read with Vanessa from Vynexa I also read this for Contemporary a thon

  6. says:

    I truly wanted to enjoy this one and yeah, there were some good parts, hence my three stars rating But when it came down to it, it was all anticlimactic and the sexual chemistry was lacking.This is my first book by this author, I think and I m kind of doubting her other books This story dragged too much and I felt like I was waiting for something big that never actually came.Get it Came Anti climactic No Okay lol

  7. says:

    Author s Note Please note there is NO underage sex in this book There is NO incest or blood relation in this book This is NOT an MC Club story This is NOT erotica This is a slow burn romance This book is intended for readers 18 years and older I want you to be my first I want you to be my last I want you to be all the in betweens I want you Just you Only you WOW handsdown This is one of the sweetiest but also the sexiest book I ever read I really, really loved TorKenzi s story I know from outside it looks disturbing this kind of stories but author really did a great job to show me that beautiful connection between TorKenzi Toren is 15 years older than Kenzi and they re know each other from the day she was born but they have an amazing chemistry and that age difference really didn t bother me at all Because I felt their love too And I m glad that they didn t make out with every 10 minutes like a bunnies so that s another reason for me to love this story What can I say I loved every minute of this story Kenzi knows what she wants, who she loves and so was Toren too And in that case the heart always gets what it wants 3Ps If you re okay with this age difference, I highly recommend this book Trust me, that big tattooed guy will make you surprise with his kindness and he will make you swoon image error

  8. says:

    4 StarsOverall Opinion I liked this one much than I thought I would I wasn t the biggest fan of the only book I ve read from this author, Storm, so when I realized that it was a spin off after I was already reading it I was a little worried ButI loved Tor He was amazingly sweet, and I so wanted him to get a HEA This didn t feel dirty at all to me When some readers might see that whole He s loved me since the day I was born line in the blurb, it might come off as gross or unappealing Yes they loved each other instantly when she was born, but that love evolved as they aged They were soul mates 15 years is a lot to be different in age, but I never felt skeeved out by it because of their obvious connection and how mature the h was It even got a little mushy, and I was ok with it It was romantic My only complaint is that I wanted some time after they got everything figured with them as a couple and interacting with others and their family I felt like the ending was a little too abrupt for my liking, and even though I liked the epilogue I m greedy, and I wanted Brief Summary of the Storyline This is Kinzi and Tor s story They have shared a strong connection since the day she was born, and that connection changed throughout time It went from family to friend to One night their worlds are shaken when they both see each other differently They fight their attraction for a while, but eventually give in and build on that strong connection and fall deeply in love There is some ex and family drama, as well as some hot sexy timesand they get a HEA ending.POV This alternated between Kinzi and Tor s POV It also went from flashbacks to present tense which I loved.Overall Pace of Story Good I never skimmed and I thought it flowed well see closure section.Instalove No They ve known each other since Kinzi was born.H rating 5 stars Tor He was sweet, he was sexy, he was loyal, and he saved abused animalshe was awesome h rating 4 stars Kinzi I liked her She was mature for her age, and I appreciated her desire to just have a family to love.Sadness level Low No tissues needed.Push Pull Yes view spoiler The H fights his feelings at first, and pushes the h away The h pursues the relationship at first hide spoiler

  9. says:

    Storm won me right away, Vandal had me on my knees, Lukas gave me hopes and feelings and Talon took my heart and breath away So as you can easily tell I have high hopes every time I open a book written by Carian Cole because 1 she is one of my favorite authors in this whole wide world and 2 I always end up in love with her stories no matter what.So how about Torn, you ask I ll let you know immediately Tor and Kenzi are winners like the ones before them Since the very first book I read by Carian Cole, I knew her writing was just right for me, what I didn t know back then was that she possesses a unique talent in storytelling, empathy.It s not easy to write a story like Torn, so powerful, hinting on taboo, filled with suppressed feelings, pain, loneliness, love and hope It s also not easy as a reader to read and enjoyed said story mostly because at some points you will feel weird about the history between the two main characters.Tor is a hero that will stick with you for a long time due to his beautiful and sorrowful soul He is big everywhere wink wink , tattooed, an ex musician turned mechanic who discarded his dream without a second thought in order to take care of his family, and let s not forget an animal savior with a heart of gold Kenzi is beyond her years, that s true but still, an eighteen year old girl who has dreams and is entirely too much in love with Tor, her favorite person in the world who is always by her side and won t let her down no matter what She is creative, sweet and has a huge heart full of love to offer and she won t take no for an answer, feisty and romantic like her parents All in all this beautiful romance is so interesting and unique I ve never read such a story before and I m impressed with the way everything was handled I was mesmerized by their pure love and every little drama filled moment and all the characters, not just the main couple It was an absolutely incredible storyline adorned with so many passionate scenes and some crazy feelings I fell in love right away THOUGHTS ABOUT THE BOOK Big drama right away With the whole family I don t like Sydni Kenzi hoards Tor s things Super adorable She is so down to earth Wow, the thing with her mom is creepy Ty sounds very interesting I love how much he cares about animals It s so beautiful Tor is very unsure of himself and that s so cute He is such a caring and giving person And excruciatingly romantic The Jug story AWWW Her first word was Tor I loved how he dreamt of meeting her in an alternative reality Lukas knows everything The tattoo AWWWWW The epilogue was epic I can t wait for Asher s story.

  10. says:

    I had to think long and hard on this review because I really wasn t sure how I even felt about the book, so I definitely didn t know what to say about it But after having it on my mind throughout the day this is what I ve come up withI m indifferent.It wasn t a bad book, but when I think back on it I can t really say my reading experience was a good one And I feel like I need to say that the age difference and uncle factor had no affect on me not enjoying the book I know that most people who didn t like this book had that one major problem with it, but for me that taboo part of the book is actually what drew me in My issues came from various other things that happened throughout the story One being the length of it and how long it took for Tor and Kenzi to get together I m a book a day kind of person so the fact that this book took me two days to finish says a lot It s not that I was busy, it was the fact that the beginning 30 or 40% moved so slow that I kept putting the book down I was losing interest the I read because it felt like the same things were happening over and over again I did, however, like the sexual tension that Tor and Kenzi had going on for awhile It kept me intrigued for a portion of the book when the were finally starting to admit to themselves that they had feelings for one another I had hope that from there I would get into the story, but sadly it didn t happen Now here s the thing that kind of took the enjoyment of seeing these characters together away, though The chapter headers On many chapters there was a small portion that had a flashback to Kenzi as a little girl and Tor taking care of her Seems innocent enough, until you add in the fact that sometimes those flashbacks came right in between some steamy moments It just wasn t something I wanted to see or hear about right before after seeing them together in a sexual way.I also didn t like how the secret surrounding Kenzi s mom was handled I get that the author was trying to keep the facts hidden until the big reveal but the times when she was brought up just confused me I honestly had to keep checking to see if I accidentally skipped ahead and missed something It felt like there the story was taunting me like an annoying child going I know something you don t know over and over again Then when I guessed the secret and was pretty positive I knew what it was around 41% somehow the mentions of her became even annoying.One last rant, I promiseBut what is it with these non endings lately I ve read so many books this past week where the ending was over way too fast and gave me no closure whatsoever Torn was just the same and yet again I m left thinking, what the fuck was that One minute nothing is okay and the next you re turning the page to see everything resolved and over I wanted to come from the ending, and I definitely hated how Kenzi s mom was mentioned that one last time without giving us any facts about how that came to be Okay my big rant is over and if you made it this far into my review I apologize for my bitching and whining Despite my issues, I will still recommend this book for all my fellow taboo lovers because I see that a lot of other people did enjoy it I hope it will be enjoyable for other readers to come.

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