Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern WisdomCelia Rivenbark Is An Intrepid Explorer And Acid Commentator On The Land South Of The Mason Dixon Line In This Collection Of Screamingly Funny Essays, You Ll Discover How To Get Your Kid Into A Character Breakfast At Disney World Or Run The Risk Of Eating Chicken Out Of A Bucket With Sneezy Secrets Of Celebrity Moms Don T Hate Them Because They Re Beautiful When There Are So Many Other Reasons Ebay Addiction And Why It Ain T Worth Having If It Ain T On Ebay Why Today S Children S Clothes Make Six Year Olds Look Like Vegas Showgirls With An Abundance Of Anger Issues And So Much Celia Rivenbark S Essays About Life In Today S South Are Like Caramel Popcorn Sweet, Salty, And Utterly Irresistible I really tried to like this book It s has the work Skank in the title, that right there is a winner for me I was so deflated after the first chapter I just couldn t relate It was like she was stating the obvious throughout the whole book and she kept saying the same things over and over again but masking it with witty humor Sorry Celia but it wasn t for me. Meh The funniest thing about the book for me was the sensationalistic title It was quippy, the author was lippy Yippy skippy Bleh. I LOVED this book Rarely do I read a book where I am laughing out loudnot oncenot twicenot three times.not four, not five, not six etc You get the picture In every single chapter there was something, usually lots of somethings, that had me laughing out loud and looking around for someone to share it with This book is a quick read and written blog style for lack of a better word Each chapter is short and hilarious Celia Rivenbark is a humor columnist in North Carolina and I feel that if we met we would be best friends I love Celia Rivenbark She always gets me rolling This book of short essays focus on different aspects of Southern life kids, husbands, celebrities, and other rites of Southern culture The essay on obituaries was spot on Not to mention the visitation to the hospital Lawd, I do know a few of these folks And then there s her views on the food icons of the South, most specifically KK s Krispy Kreme doughnuts are the finest things on God s green earth To which the proper response is a solemn Amen, Sister I need to see if I can find Ms Rivenbark the next time I m over in North Carolina so we can sit down and have a few oh hell just keep em coming hot glazed KKs with a cold glass of milk Heaven. Rivenbark s tone was meant to be sardonic and honest to a fault, but often comes across as bitter and overly defensive She is funny, there is no doubt that her voice has a strong, Southern twang that leaps out of the words, but she focuses so much on what she is not A Supermom, hip, into documentaries, young that the negativity becomes very tiring There is a definite niche for these kinds of writings, and a need for it but Rivenbark s writing has become dated in just five years since publication There are two references to Michael Jackson that had probably been funny while his trials were ongoing, but now that he has passed, just seem mean spirited There are also mentions of Hilary Duff, Days of Our Lives, and Paris Hilton, all three of which have not been part of the cultural zeitgeist for some time And the most troubling part, much of Rivenbark s writing sounds lifted from mom blogs, which either speaks highly of Rivenbark s relatability or poorly of her originality You pick. if i could give negative stars this book would receive 4.against my better judgment i purchased this book out of the bargain section at BN in my defense i needed something to read during lunch, i figured it had to be at least worth the 3 i paid for it.this woman has very few funny observations to make and unfortunately when something is genuinely funny her horrid writing style makes this book unbearable. Rivenbark says out loud what we re all thinking but don t have the cajones to say Some of the funniest stories I ve ever read, all told with that sweet Southern girl style. Warning if you re into bashing fake people like the writer and I I snickered a lot when reading this book How I feel for Celia s frustation seeing motherm dressing their six year old daughters like a skank How I root for her taking on the super perfect moms who know the details on successfully going to Disneyland How I was laughing in tears when she tackle the my child is an allstater moms and just plainfully being a slacker mom instead of soccer mom Celia is hilariously funny, I must admit But after a while, I grew weary of her rantings Thirty two short essays of bickering is too much for my liking. Forced myself through all but the last 15 pages Not funny, not witty Something I could have written, and I am an awful writer.

Celia Rivenbark was born and raised in Duplin County, NC, which had the distinction of being the nation s number 1 producer of hogs and turkeys during a brief, magical moment in the early 1980s Celia grew up in a small house in the country with a red barn out back that was populated by a couple of dozen lanky and unvaccinated cats Her grandparents house, just across the ditch, had the first ind

[Reading] ➺ Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom By Celia Rivenbark –
  • Paperback
  • 262 pages
  • Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank: And Other Words of Delicate Southern Wisdom
  • Celia Rivenbark
  • English
  • 23 December 2019
  • 9780312339944

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